I don't have a very helpful answer. The Fourier map features in topas aren't as well developed as in single crystal packages (or at least not as far as I know), so I don't think a lot of what you want to do is easy. I also haven't used it much in anger.
From you message I guess you know about the "Temporary Output" window in the map viewer (the text icon). This lists the various eaks.
1. If you click on the "cloud" icon then you can change the "N to pick" to just select the top peaks. If you toggle the "with symmetry" it lists the top 8 peaks with symmetry equivalents either included or not included.
2. The only way I know is to copy the peaks to the INP file and calculate distances there.
There are some other threads on exporting Fourier maps to other software for visualisation. The most recent I know about is the macro on the wiki by Lynne McCusker:
http://topas.dur.ac.uk/topaswiki/doku.php?id=fourier_maps&s[]=lynne